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DAILY WILD ONION DEAL (WOD) RULES/RESTRICTIONS

Ya gotta act quick, 'cuz when the WOD is gone...it's gone!

What is The daily Wild Onion Deal (WOD)**† and who's behind it?
ORS Direct is behind it. We sell all kinds of stuff with great customer service†. But, the rules for the WOD are a little different… OK, a lot different‡. In a nut shell, they say that “we can only offer this deal if we can make this a quick, clean, painless transaction, devoid of usual consumer expectations.” The WOD is kind of like our gift to you… You know, the kind of gift you pay for... plus shipping… But it is a great price, right?

Now that we've got you're attention, read on…

I see only one item, do you sell anything else?
Heck yeah, we sell tons of stuff on this site. But, there’s only one daily WOD*.

What is the schedule for new items?
Always, sometime every morning, there will be a new item. It will stay up until they’re gone. No, we ain't gonna tell you how many we have either.‡ That’s our clever little way of creating a sense of “urgency” so you won’t wait.*

I missed yesterday’s WOD, can I still get one?
Not from this site you can’t, or any other site at that price. But don’t fret unlucky gaucho, tomorrow's item will be rolling in sometime.††

I want to talk to a live person ‘cuz I have some questions about today’s item, can I contact you?***
Whoa, slow down there pard'ner. Here’s the deal - We’ve spent a Texas-sized*‡† amount of time finding this Wild Onion Deal (did you notice the price?) This little arrangement you and us have goin’ only works if you’re not bugging us. So don’t be an Onion-bugger. You can call us if you can figure out our non-toll-free number to our WOD customer service center in a dirt floor hut in _ _ _ _ _. Look, you’re smart, there’s a whole herd of resources and forums to answer your questions about this product. Try your favorite search engine for starters.‡

Is there any other way I can order other than the internet?
No. No phone calls, no faxes, no e-mails. And those silly flags that sailors use? Nope.†* Don’t blow your WOD chance.

Will I receive customer support like I'm used to?
For The daily Wild Onion Deal item, you’re pretty much on your own††. We realize this way of doing business may not be for everyone. However, the WOD rules state that you absolutely can’t return it ‘cuz you don’t like the color, can’t return it ‘cuz it’s the wrong size, can’t return it ‘cuz Granny already got you one for Christmas‡*. There’s no getting a better price for bulk or group purchases, zero, zip, nada. Gettin’ the picture? For the price you’re payin’ you can sell it to the neighbor kid down the street and make money off him (auction sites work well too).*

How do I return a defective product?
Unlike other products for sale on ORSDirect.com‡‡, we ain’t gonna handle any warranty claims for WOD’s. Try challenging the manufacturer to 20 paces at dawn. Because we aren't likely to have a replacement in stock, you should be prepared for a refund-only option if that's all we can do. Return freight will be at your expense - we don’t do call tags for WOD’s. Again, you will probably get a better deal from the manufacturer, or whoever else is handling customer service for that product. If all else fails, e-mail us – It’s somewhere at the bottom, difficult to find in a clever sort of way. (don't call)

How many WOD items are for sale today? How many are left?
Ain’t tellin’. That’s part of the fun, but we're repeating repeating‡‡‡ ourselves.

What payment options do I have?
You can pay for your orders using VISA, MasterCard, Discover and American Express. We do not accept checks, money orders, poker chips, cow chips, etc.††

What are my shipping options?
Order it and we’ll ship it regular UPS ground —don’t and we won’t. Any other shipping options you might stumble across on ORSDirect.com do not apply to the WOD. That includes shipping specials, free shipping offers etc. ‡

Can I use any coupons, promotional codes or special offers when buying the WOD?
No, no and no. The price is the price.*

How can I track my order?
When you place your WOD order, you’ll get an order acknowledgement. When we ship your WOD you’ll get a confirmation with a UPS tracking number. Other than that — follow the bouncing ball and... — do not call us, e-mail us, fax us, stalk us the next day asking what the status of your order is. Put some beans^* on the campfire, relax and just keep checking your front door.††

Why isn't my state/country/province listed; do you ship internationally?
Sorry, we do not ship WOD items outside of the continental United States at this time. That means we do not ship WOD items to APO/FPO addresses, Canada, Mexico, Alaska or Hawaii. Please remember that this only applies to the WOD item. All other items sold on this site can currently ship to Alaska, Hawaii, APO/FPO addresses (see our shipping page for the most up-to-date information).

I'm a wholesaler/retailer/one of those roving gypsy flea market types; can I buy from you in bulk at a discount?
Nope.††

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